So when we had to get a photo of him with a serious face it took about 59 or so tries. All the while I was thinking what the F? Why do they care if my 8 month old smiles in his visa photo. Well, now I know. The Russians hate smiling. It makes them feel uncomfortable. We eased into this by stopping in Finland on the way over, a country filled with people with blank stares- like Stone Cold Steve Austin. Now we are in a country where mean mugs rule. Passing these people on the street you aren't sure if they are angry or their hamster just died.
As our friend Olga told us, you aren't suppose to show emotion here. And Olga actually is too happy really. So when I walk down the street smiling and waving hello at police officers the locals think I'm nuts. At first I thought this was weird but now I'm getting use to it. I can choose whether to look Russian or not by going back and forth between smiling (so they'll know I'm a foreigner) and giving a nasty look like "F off!" I'm Russian! It's kind of fun.
The cool thing is that Maddox can't stop smiling no matter what so we use him as a decoy to crack the Russians. We'll walk into an elevator- get a death scare and then Maddox will catch their eye and smile from ear to ear until they crack. And if they don't crack that's when I really give them a mean look. Like, really bit$h??? You are so hard that you cant even smile at a baby? And a gorgeous one at that?
Really it's a-ok with us and as Olga explained, just a part of their culture. Just because these people aren't bowing down and praising me to the high heavens for using their bathroom in a coffee shop doesn't mean they aren't good people. Plus- as I learned yesterday, when traveling with a baby you don't always want people to be nice and fuzzy. In the Hermitage yesterday, the most spectacular museum we have ever been to, people were snapping photos of Maddox all day without our permission! Dang- I know he's handsome but BACK OFF! Or at least don't do that trick where u snap a photo waist level like I won't see. What a joke. I know you paid 200 rubles to take photos of the art here but you didn't pay me a dime to take a photo of my pride and joy. Hello!
Then as we were leaving the museum, a group of 15-20 Chinese tourists started bombarding Maddox with their cameras like he was Blanket (Michael Jackson's baby from Debbie Rowe). We literally sat there for 20 minutes while they all snapped away until one of them literally grabbed Maddox from my arms and started snuggling with him. One of them had a zoom lens a foot long.
Jesus Christ. I was cracking up but in my mind I was thinking- thank god the Russians are so hard core. If we were in a country where people wouldn't leave Maddox alone and kept trying to "borrow" him for a hug I would have to cover him like MJ did with Blanket so he wouldn't get exposed to too many germs.
Although Russians are not the outwardly friendliest bunch that doesn't mean much and we have met some incredibly nice Russians. Olga, a friend of a friend, took 2 days to show us around and teach us the culture. She told us that when she went to New York and her server kept checking on her at a restaurant she was FREAKED OUT! Apparently the server kept asking her if everything was alright and it made her think everything was not alright. Hilarious!
The cool thing about traveling with Maddox is that we have met a lot of people we wouldn't otherwise talk to because he's simply irresistible. The coolest part is hearing them all talk to him in their language. In the last few days he has been admired in Russian, Portuguese, Italian, Spanish, Chines, English and some other languages I can't even decipher. Pretty cool really! Maybe this will help with his tri-lingual preschool application. Mandarin-English-Spanish preschools are all The rage in the Bay Area these days. Why? So u can say your 3 year old is tri-lingual? That's cool and all but try keeping that up until they are old enough for that to matter.
Some other things we appreciate about Russian culture is their love for tropical drinks. You would be surprised how hard it is to find shots of vodka or normal cocktails here- everywhere we go all we see are Mai Tais and Pins Coladas. It's 55 degrees and raining... maybe it's "summer" here but get with the program people.
We are having a truly amazing time here despite the mean looks and fruity drinks. Last night we had caviar and a few shots of vodka (Imperia is amazing- no rubbing alcohol aftertaste- the 21 year olds in us were proud!)
There is just so much to see here. Catherine the Great's palace in Pushkin, complete with a room made entirely of Amber and the Hermitage which really has to be seen to be believed (we kept walking around thinking is this real?! There are 3 million works of art there and it would take 9 years to see them all- and they are in a palace that was used as a bomb shelter during the Nazi occupation. Luckily all the art was evacuated and saved.).
St P looks a lot like Venice but is so much larger and has more incredible historical sights.
Today we saw the Church of the Spilled Blood, the Russian museum, then walked to the top of St Issac's then ended the day at a Uzbecki worker's restaurant hole in the wall with a Khazakstani guy we met on the Internet. Why not? For $30 we took him to dinner (food included) and he told us about growing up in Khazakstan and Uzbecki food and culture. The food was incredible actually (spiced meats and flavorful soup with housemade noodlesand) it was super interesting to have dinner surrounded by poor Uzbecki workers (all men). Maddox enjoyed the change of scenery.
So now when people ask "why Russia?" we can say: for the tropical drinks, Italian culture (more on that next time but apparently they appreciate the "light cusine") death stares, palaces, art and Uzbecki food. Why else???
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