At 3am we were awoken by Russian immigration at the border, as we expected. After inspecting our passports we were informed that there was a problem.... Apparently our visas were valid through July 20th and although we left Russia on the 20th we didn't TECHNICALLY leave Russia until 2am on the 21st. Who gives a flying fu$k??? Well- the Russians do!
This 15 year old soldier instructed us to get off the train. Are you kidding me? We have a baby! Despite our protests we eventually were kicked out of our nice room and ordered off the train in the middle of nowhere. We were filed into an immigration detention center where we would spend the night, using the outhouse as a bathroom. Yay!
Luckily I snagged a few bottles of water from the train for Maddox's bottles because they had no clean water or food or stores of any kind nearby. Brett and I didn't eat anything or drink more than a sip for 24 hours- we had to save our water for Maddox. Luckily we had his food and even an iPad to entertain him. We slept in chairs in the immigration detention center- Maddox slept on my lap happily while we awaited a translator who was to arrive at 9am.
The next morning our round little
Munchkin arrived to translate what we already knew- we overstayed our welcome in their crap country by 2 hours and now we were going to pay. Clearly their policy is to keep people
from staying in Russia illegally- not to shake down tourists for more money. And since I did not have a hotel for the 21st I didn't think I could get a visa for that day and I'm sure they wouldn't allow it. Also, because I bought my ticket on a Latvian site which said nothing of this potential visa issue or what time we would actually leave Russia there was no way I could have known.
This translator was a real riot- once I realized what was happening I started questioning her about their practices and how she felt arresting a little baby at 2am. Well, this was the first baby arrest of her career. That made me feel better.
While Brett went to the bank to get money I tried to annoy the immigration authorities (I now knew they were harmless) by playing loud nursery rhymes and rap on my iPhone and taking Maddox in to play on their computers. When this lady told me to leave the room because she was working on my "protocol" I left but came back "sorry! My baby has now been traveling for 15 hours and is sick of looking at your walls. He likes computers!"
Brett later told me that "protocol" is a Soviet term indicative of the large bureaucracy and red tape the Soviet Union was known for. For me "protocol" was indicative of our translator being mentally retarded (it took her 45 minutes and her coworker yelling at her for her to be able to add our address to a standard form. It took her even longer to man the printer. She was super annoying but funny too and she couldn't resist Maddox's charm.
After shaking us down (Brett had to go to the bank and give them some $), they made us sign something in Russia. I tried to videotape this bi$ch making us sign the form and letting us know what we were signing but she kept saying "niet! Niet! Niet! Erase"so I kept on taping just in case.
We ended up taking a cab ride for 6 hours so we didnt have to wait until 3am for the next train. The cabbie was from the scariest Russian we had seen yet- 350 lbs, huge scar on his arm, etc.
The cab ride was fine despite the hour stopover at the border (the Russians are incredibly efficient!!!!!!) until we got to Riga, Latvia- at which point our driver refused to take us to our hotel because he "didn't know how to get there" which was what we gathered although he spoke no English. He then called a cab and wouldn't let us give him directions, even when we found a Russian- English speaking teenager who could translate for us. That's the Russian way. Crazy!!!!
And did I mention he was playing 70s/80s American love ballads the entire ride. I swear to Baby Jesus (shout out to Courtney) every single song was "Susanna" or "Desiree" or "Valerie" and went something like "Valerie- how I love you. Valllll-arie"
Cool it on the love ballads man! Am I being tortured or driven to freedom? I felt like I was in the midst of some sick fraternity hazing scheme.
Finally we arrived at our hotel in absolutely charming storybook like Riga (see last photo- pic from our hotel
room). We are so happy to be somewhere seemingly safe and whose people hate the Russians as much as we do (Russia occupied Latvia on and off until 1991);)
We will certainly be able to laugh at this all years later and at least we got the true Russian experience! Hey!
And we now can be certain little Maddox is a true traveler. I was laughing thinking about all the new moms who freak out taking their baby on a 2 hour plane ride or heaven forbid a plane to Hawaii!!!!! Maddox just traveled for 24 hours straight- from 6.5 hours on a train, to 10 hours in a detention center, to a 6 hour cab ride and then after 20 mins crawling he even sat through dinner. He is an angel! And of course he was happier than all of us and didn't cry for more than 20 seconds the whole trip! I on the other handing was in the detention center "bitch! Bitch! Bitch! Bitch!"
Brett was also cool as a cucumber although he later old told me this was the worst day of his life. But one that we will remember!
Now that we are in incredible Riga we will really be able to enjoy the rest of or trip! What doesn't kill us makes us stronger;)
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