It's been almost 4 months with my little bundle of
joy. Oh how life has changed... While it is the most fun and rewarding
thing I've ever done, there are at least a few minutes each day where I
take a TIME OUT and think to myself "hmmm.... how the HECK did I get
here????? Is this a god damn joke????"
Tonight, I was checking out my friend Jessica's
photos on Facebook from her trip to Thailand/Cambodia and I came across a
photo advertising a fish foot massage that reads "Welcome to Smart Fish
Massage... it's time to get your feet wet.... Never Try Never
Know....Happ & Funn (*suppose to be "happy and funny"*)... Get
experience with our Smart Fish Massage (is there a patent for that I
wonder?).... 30 Min = $3 FREE... No pirahna!!!... If not happy not
charge from you"
Cambodia, by the way, is a country I
once got kicked out of at the border and the gov threatened to kill me
bc my traveling partner was the dumbest thing since sliced bread... and
I've been interested in going back ever since to see Angkor Wat- but
that's another story
After seeing that pic all I could think about
was- get me there!!! That looks awesome! I want to get a fish foot
massage so I can laugh my a$$ off~ So I go to Brett, show him that pic
and tell him- "911!!!!! 911!!!!!!!!! this is why we need to travel. This
is an emergency. I need to leave the country immediately. HELP!"
To which Brett patiently responds "we have a baby."
So I say "I know, but we need to take a trip- he needs other experiences too. I need to travel"
Brett: "Sarah- we HAVE A BABY! And other priorities now."
ME
(in my head): CRAP! This is all true.
Not feeling like the convo was going my way- I
go look at my old travel writing and reminisce about fun times in
Japan, Ecuador, China, Croatia, DR/Haiti, Brazil, Tanzania, etc...
thinking wow- what great times Brett and I had.
I'm an
awesome mom. An awesome blossom mom. I get up at the crack for my little
guy a few times a night without even flinching. Doesn't phase me until I
get into a furniture store at 4pm the next day and have no clue where I
left my keys. And it's one thing to lose your keys in your apt- it's
another to misplace them in a furniture store but hey- the interior
decorator I was workin' with in there was cool and I wanted to go there
and discuss mixing our traditional pieces with some modern ones and he
didn't mind helping me find my keys while discussing his design work on a
Pac Heights home that has a bathroom the size of my condo and whether
to go to Mykonos or Marrakesh for an upcoming trip.
Back to wondering how I got from pondering whether I
should travel 500 miles out of the way in search of an obese floating
nun in Thailand (I once did that) to my current deep thoughts... "hmmm-
what can I do to get my almost 4 month old to poop after being
constipated for 4 days- I'm worried he'll have a "BLOW OUT" on one of my
favorite outfits of his."
Look. I'm a compassionate mom. I will sit in
the car with Maddox, changing his shitty diaper while he laughs about it
and feel relieved that he was finally able to go. Not the most
convenient time for him to poop when we are on the road but fine. I'm
genuinely happy for him and that's what counts!
Also- Hmmm.... I think I deserve a few brownie
points for taking a few minutes each day to put Maddox right smack next
to Olivia (my dog/first born) and foster their relationship by letting
them get some quality time in together.
What else makes me wonder how the heck I got
to this place in life? Let's take today for example- I woke up early
(8amish- normal wake up time for most folks, not normal for someone who
stays up until 2am browsing the world wide web for living room designs
and condos, then wakes up at 3:30 or 4 to feed her baby, then again at
6, etc...) so that I could go to a music class for babies with other
moms from my mother's group- a really fun bunch of girls. I get there
only to find myself walking in circles while singing following a washed
up hippie on his banjo WEARING NO SHOES who reminds me of a wanna-be
Raffie (anyone else remember the children's singer?) around the room
singing "she'll be comin round the mountain as she comes... she'll be
comin round the mountain as she comes...." At least SHE'LL BE COMIN
ROUND THE MOUNTAIN was fun for me to sing because it makes me nostalgic
from growing up in the 80's and listening to old Raffi CDs.
However bizarre that experience may have been for me it was so much fun to watch my little man smile and enjoy the show.
Ahhh just a day in the life!
PS- the inspiration from this tid bit came from a previous email I wrote when I got back from Japan:
REVERSE
CULTURE SHOCK- AMERICA, THE UNITED STATES, OUR HOMELAND USA
Since I got home yesterday I have that normal OFF feeling that
accompanies jet lagged. I'm incredibly tired but still have a sort of hard time
sleeping...
Culture shock is that state of being many Americans experience when they
travel to places like the UK, Spain or Thailand. UK: "Wow, they drink a
lot in London, I sure feel out of place here!" "SPAIN: Those
Spaniards sure do use a lot of mayo in their cooking, this is so contrary
from the mission statement at my local WHOLE FOODS that I'm culturally
shocked!" THAILAND: "Almost everyone here looks Thai and they are
driving around on tuk tuks which look like the vehicles used in Mr. Toad's Wild
Ride in Disneyland... and they sell bugs to eat on the street- I'm
traumatized." CULTURE SHOCK.
Well there is also reverse culture shock, a phenomenon that happens to
people like me after soaking in enough good stuff in a country like Japan I get
shocked about the US as if it's all new to me. Here were some of my
initial thoughts having arrived back in the "States."
1) Wow, everyone got larger in the last few hours. What do these people
eat here? No wonder the life expectancy of the Japanese is the highest in the
world. Is everyone here large and in charge or am I wearing a wide angle lens?
Dang, is everyone really drinking and walking at the same time. So rude!
2) Why is my toilet suddenly looking so ghetto. I haven't seen toilets
this rudimentary, not even in 5 buck curry hole in the walls in the last few
weeks. How will I warm my butt to enhance my bathroom experience. I suddenly
feel inadequate. I'm oddly really bothered by this and the value of our
apartment has really rapidly declined in my mind in the last two days. Thank
god we don't own the place (our toilet seat sometimes even slides a little off
the toilet bowl- GHETTO).
3) Why isn't every person thanking me over and over for doing nothing
except being in the presence of their vicinity. Did I lose that magic touch?
Are Americans just rude? Or are we normal for not kissing everyone's
a**... Should I really feel offended for not being bowed down to for
buying an iced tea in Starbucks today.
4) Why is the reality TV here so PC. Why don't they get a little wilder
and copy the Japanese shows where people marry after knowing each other for 40
minutes? Why don't we have a show for normal looking Americans where they
compete against two other contestants and the ugliest one wins a nose job, eye
opening surgery and maybe even a jaw implant? Japan has this show- why don't
we?
5) WHO AM I? WHO AM I?
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