Marin Mother's Group Forums

As a working mom I never have time to catch up on my news anymore. Although it makes me sad that I'm no longer an avid reader of the NY Times (I love their international coverage) or US Weekly, I have a new substitute: Southern Marin Mother's Group forums. From advice on where and when to get a breast lift to whether someone is "perimenopausal"- whatever the hell that is- to whether it's ok to think your children are total a$$holes, these daily "digest" emails are starting to finally make up for the lack of "real" news coverage in my life.

Here is a recent post: WHO IS MORE IMPORTANT, ME OR MY KIDS?:

I am really intrigued by the conversations going back and forth on multiple threads here. There seems to be a wave of sentiment that echoes something I heard from Madeleine Levine in her "Teach your Children Well" event at Book Passage - which is that it's OK not to make your kids the center of your universe. Marin is probably one of the places that was first to adopt the helicopter mom style of parenting. I know it's constantly being parodied now, but if you think about its origins -- which I imagine had something to do with a society (admittedly an elite one) in which well-educated, organized and ambitious moms had the means to quit their high-powered C-level Harvard MBA jobs and devote all that Type-A energy towards parenting -- there's really nothing nefarious or self-centered or ill-intentioned there. It was just a natural evolution of a certain segment of society. But now, I sense a tiny shift back toward the "old school" bad-mom type of parenting. You know, the mom on the phone for an hour between 6-7 with the glass of wine. Mine did it with a Winston in her mouth too. She shot me a death glare if I dared to interrupt it. I used to hate it, so why am I nostalgic about it now? Is it because I still struggle with the almost-inevitable desire to keep up with those mythical Joneses- the ones who probably never have sex and are down to their last 2 dollars and fight every night, but by golly their little angel scored 2 goals at soccer last week!! Is it because I wonder if my kids will suffer in the long run because I do not plan play dates and am now so turned off by the weird mom dynamics at their "excellent" public school (so excellent that everyone has private tutors for everything...STF??) that I actively avoid socializing with other school families. Or because I worry that I'm ruining them forever if we quit soccer after one season? If I'm the grinch that voices the opinion that no, they don't need a trophy just for showing up, especially cuz my kid sucked hard at soccer and phoned it in all season? Is it because I feel that I am the only one in my group of friends who will ever admit that my kids are weird and awkward and sometimes mean? How is it possible that everyone else's kids are always nice, sweet and incredibly smart and of course would never do ANYthing to hurt someone else? I am always heartened to see posts on SMMC that echo some of these sentiments, but what will it really take for these feelings to go from (anonymous) posts to reality? Is there an underparenting group that I can join? Will anyone join me for some box wine and a Winston at 6pm tomorrow night?? Thanks for listening, ladies.